Category: Let's talk
What inspired me to create this thread was an article I read a few weeks ago, which discussed how salary.com estimated a stay-at-home mom's annual salary. I'll post it below, but I just want to say that the way that is described in this article to determine a stay-at-home mom's salary is possible, but is this estimate actually worth the work?
I haven't and never will be a stay-at-home mom, but just from watching my oldest sister, Angie, I know that there just isn't enough money to pay a woman that works as hard as she does. With four kids and one on the way, she cooks for everyone in her house and makes just about everything from scratch. She cleans the house and helps her children with their homework. She is also careful to use natural products to clean, wash, and deodorize instead of using store-bought house cleaning products and air fresheners that contain dangerous inhalents, brain-cell killing chemicals, and air and water pollutants. Oh, we can't forget changing diapers, washing clothes and dishes, making sure her kids don't leave the house underdressed and/or mismatching. And we all know that the list goes on and on and on!
Any true mother would do all these basic things to ensure the health and safety of her children.
I created this board so that we can give our mothers credit here if we like, we cannot pay them with money, but a mother loves receiveing love and thanks, which they have never gotten and will never get enough of.
Tell what you're so thankful for that your mother did for you. What kind of impact did she have on your life?
Oh, and what do you think of this article? Is the salary worth the work? Do you agree with this method of determining a stay=at-home mom’s salary? Do you have a better method?
What is a mother's work really worth?
One of my favorite quotes in Laurie PK's Mother's Day post comes from the eminently quotable Anne Morrow Lindbergh: "By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class."
Add to that the fact that mothering work is unpaid, and it's a double whammy. True words like Lindbergh's are why it's both illuminating and depressing to put a dollar figure to the work mothers do at home. Just in time for Mother's Day, Salary.com has done that in its 9th annual mom salary survey. This year, a stay-at-home mom performing the 10 most popular "mom-job functions" does the work equivalent of a $122,732 salary, up 5 percent over last year's calculations. A mom who works outside the home 40 hours a week does work that equates to an annual cash compensation of $76,184, an 11 percent increase. A lucrative second job--if that second shift were actually a paid gig.
How do the folks at Salary.com arrive at such hefty numbers? First, they take 10 jobs that closely match the multiple jobs moms do at home. Think laundry machine operator, janitor, van driver, housekeeper, computer operator, cook, daycare center teacher, facilities manager, psychologist, and chief executive officer. Then they surveyed 12,150 moms to quantify their hours worked in each role for a typical week. Salary.com's compensation professionals weighted the different responsibilities of the job to determine the average mom's overall total compensation.
The (fake) salaries for mothers increased during a year salary increases are rare because Salary.com's researchers found that moms--stay-at-home and work-outside-the-home--are outsourcing less of the around- the-house jobs and, as a result, are putting in lots of "overtime." According to the survey, the working mom had 17 hours of overtime in addition to her full-time hours both at work and as a mom, and the stay-at-home mom worked 56 hours of overtime, bringing her work week to 96 hours. That's a lot of unpaid work.
So, what's the value in calculating the value of a mother's work if there is no way she'll ever get paid for it? Well, in a culture that assigns value in dollars, it's important to see in black and white the many jobs moms do and how those jobs are valued in the job market. It's also a way for Salary.com to highlight how its tools shed light on how employers set salaries for jobs.
"This is our ninth year looking at the value of mom's work. It has become a popular annual event because it not only recognizes the critical value of what moms do, but educates the public on the key factors that determine what employers are willing to pay for a given job," said Meredith Hanrahan, senior vice president at Salary.com, Inc. "We value the job of mom based on her job description and calculate what an employer would have to pay in cash if they were to hire someone to do all that a mom does."
Want to know what you or a mom in your life should get paid? You can use the Mom Salary Wizard, then create a fake mom paycheck and pay stub to be sent on Mother's Day. But here's the dilemma: Knowing how much a mom should get paid can be a good thing if those around her are recognizing the value of all she does. Or, it could just make her very sad that she can't cash that check for real.
What do you think? Is there value in assigning a dollar value to what all moms do?
why is it that society thinks a monetary value must be placed on a job for it to be meaningful? Parenting is the most demanding, exciting, frustrating, challenging, fun, and least appreciated career around. They can put a price on the position, but it leaves out two important markers. Psychic income and excellence in performance. Raven, your sister Angela sounds like an outstanding mom. I'd give her an a plus. I know plenty of involved and enthused parents who work at home or in an office. I also know men and women who stay at home, think they should get a gold medal, and do nothing much. Same goes for people who have a paying job. In order to be successful parents need to give 100 plus percent.
I don't think the point of the article was to suggest that parenting should necessarily be payed work, but simply put, the work that parents who work within the home is severely under-valued. You don't need to be payed in order to have a meaningful life, but loving your kids alone isn't going to pay the bills.
Well, firstly why not stay-at-home dad, or parent. It is becoming more common that the duties of staying home is split between the parents, or at least there has been some blurring of gender roles in that regard, and fortunately so, getting to know your own kids when they're little is really something that you can't put a number on ever.
Secondly I disagree strongly that making all your food from scratch and going with natural this and all natural that makes you a better parent and that store sold ready made cleaners and such are all evil. I find generally the all natural stuff is no better and much more over priced. I'm not saying it's worse but to imply just because you grow your own turnips you are a better parent and love your kids more. There are preferences everywhere, less time spent on making food could mean more time to play with your kids and teach them (not that they necessarily need to). I'm just saying it is "a style of parenting". My parents never bothrered with all natural stuff, except once, the time they tried all natural flour we got little insects all over the house and had to move out for a month while it was being cleaned up. Additionally my friend tried the "fresh from a farm" vegetable deal one summer, found the vegetables of comparable quality to super markets at 3 times the price. But that's a different story. I got nothing against the "make it from scratch" idiology but I take issue with those who think it's vastly superior to parents who choose to simplify at least that aspect of their livs.
But what I do agree with strongly is that, especially American culture, kids and staying at home with them is hugely under appreciated. Kids usually are an after thought, after that diploma, that degree, that career, and people generally don't have time for kids until after they turn 40. When they do work culture does not really allow for proper care for them. My sister gets a speech from her manager if she has to go home early because her son is sick and has to be picked up from day care, people are counted lucky if they get 4 weeks off for the birth of a baby, guys are lucky if they get one week. Day care is prohibitively expensive, in NC standard 4 star day care (minimum for being eligible for stipends, e.g. from the local universities) costs between 1300 and 1500 dollars a month, basically the sallary of a person working a basic office job is completely offset by day care expenses.
In Iceland, (which has a lot of drawbacks in many area, but I find it's childcare system excellent), parents get 9 months of parental leave, 3 months each and 3 to be split according to best arrangement. They are guaranteed their full basic sallary up to $10000 a month, 80% paid by employer, 20 by the state, can be taken any time before the child turns 18 months. If either parent is not working the money is, admittedly,not so good butit's still around $700 a month, and that's better than nothing. In addition to this many townships pay $500 a month for parents who choose not to have their kids in day care, and day care expenses are kept at $250 for one child, $150 for the second child, $50 for the third and above, for a given family per month.
And parents get between $100 and $300 a month for each child under 18 in their care for childcare expenses. Also the culture is about kids and families, everybody has them, so if your child is sick your boss understands because he/she has a family too.
The laws were introduced fairly recently (probably around 10 yers ago) and there has been virutally a revolution in how involved dads have gotten with their kids.
There are a lot of things in the U.S. that are better than elsewhere but I find the system is extremely kid unfriendly, especially for people who want to responsibly mix having a family and hving a job. It seems here people are often forced to choose between the two, especially people with high aspirations / ambitions.
Cheers and a homegrown cucumber y'all.
-B
Wildebrew, i'm with you 100% All natural doesn't have a fig to do with what kind of a parent we are.
personally i love to cook so i make a lot of stuff myself. when my kids were little and even today, making meals is a family persuit.
dads at home are wonderful. in fact, i think it is great as long as they give 100% and do their job. Same for moms. I have several friends where dad is at home and the kids have thrived. there are two glaring exceptions which profoundly upset me. one guy puts the kid in front of the plug in drug, i mean tv, and plays on his pc all day. this girl has no social skills, discipline, and although four years old going on five is not near being potty trained because dad won't do it. excuse me, but mom works all day comes home cleans their house cooks what food they eat, they usually are at the fast food at least five nights a week, and he's supposed to get flowers and a medal. At least that's his take. The other guy is basically the same deal.
I know plenty of stay at home moms who spend the entire day running their mouthes on the phone and sitting junior in front of the boxy babysitter. It doesn't make a difference where we are but it does what we do with our kids.
Concerning the all natural food and cleaning solution, my point wasn't that resorting to this lifestyle doesn't make my sister a better parent, but that any parent who goes that extra length for their kids is an exceptional parent. Those were just examples of how much my sister does to ensure that her children remain safe and healthy. Since my sister makes some foods and dressings from scratch, it is actually less expensive. For instance, making yeast is cheaper than buying bread. Using vinegar and lemon juice to clean some surfaces is cheaper than buying a toxic cleaning solution.
There are many other examples of how parents can be or are good parents to their children, but those were just mine. Trust me, my sister is not the perfect parent. And honestly, I don't know who is.
I concur with Wildebrew: an ideological response like the all-natural phenomenon, or the various parenting curricula matter far less than how much time you spend, and how much involvement you provide as a parent. Ideology out of control can be nothing more than another drug like ice or smack.
As a parent, I've always tried to measure a method's worthwhileness by the results of it, not by what it's supposed to produce but what it actually does. I've seen many adopt a modus operandi, and become more involved with making that work rather than raising the child in light of what's really going on. I've read my fair share of parenting articles, etc., but like everything else, I just take it all with a grain of salt.
Ultimately, the parents know what their individual child needs a lot more than the experts do, only because we're there (if the parent is there ...), and, unless married to an ideology, we at least have the capacity to evaluate the results of any given method while it's happening, not after the fact ...
My wife and I both work from home and make great incomes and at the same times, we have an opportunity spend lots of time with our children and it's extremeley rewarding!
D.D.
Ok, I understand what you mean, someone who goes the extra mile to do something for that kid would certainly seem dedicated, although you always must balance what you do with the desire you ahve to do it and the time you spend on it vs other things. Cooking was always a big part of my family culture growing up and we often did it as a family, and it was a lot of fun, so I see where making stuff from scratch can actually be both money saving and family fun. Certainly nothing wrong with that. I only objected to the way you put it, which to me seemed to read that in order to be a good parent you needed to do those things, and that was a misconstruction of your meaning apparently.
It's hard to be a good parent and there's no one way to do it. Having two boys I'm absolutely amazed how different they are, you first and foremost need to give them time and learn how to work with them. I certainly do not claim to be an ideal parent, only claim to do my best and I think it's going ok, so far anyway.
cheers
-B